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 Sign
on the Dotted Line About Contracts
Verbal agreements just don't cut it anymore (this is the new millennium);
get everything, and we mean everything, in writing. The two common forms
of agreement are a standard contract or a letter of agreement. The contract
should have a detailed description of what is provided (if the vendor
says something will be provided and it's not listed in the contract, make
sure it is written in), the times the vendor will start and finish as
well as what can be done if overtime is needed, who is responsible when
things don't go exactly as planned and the delivery and return dates for
rentals. Read the fine print before you sign and don't be afraid to question
anything on the contract that seems unclear. Get
a signed copy (don't accept a photocopy of the original contract) and
keep it in a safe place. It should have your signature, the vendor's signature
and the date the contract was signed. List emergency phone numbers where
the vendor can get in touch with you as well as a contact person.
Your
Ceremony
There are two types of ceremonies: civil or religious. The ceremony can
be traditional or you can make one of your own. Whatever you choose, your
ceremony is so you can declare your love for one another as well as your
aspirations for the future. The ceremony should consist of the following
parts: the introduction, the statement of intent as to why the wedding
is taking place (this is also an appropriate time for the officiant to
make comments), the exchange of rings , the pronouncement of you as partners
for life by the officiant and finally a blessing for your union.
Often, people will have their weddings performed by a clergy member. Keep
in mind this is the person who will make you both into one. Select an
officiant who is comfortable
with this occasion.
Buying
the Rings
Some same-sex couples may feel apprehensive about going into a jewelry
store to pick out their rings. Well, we have many community friendly
jewelers in our resource section ready to help you. GLBT friendly web
sites also make selecting your ring easy; most ensure a custom fit and
the perfect design all in time for your big day! And just think of all
the excitement that comes with looking at jewelry together.
 Flower
Power! Decorating
Flowers are an excellent
accent to any room or outfit and no wedding is complete without them.
Decide where and how you want to use flowers first- this will prevent
you from going overboard and turning your location into The New England
Flower Show (as grand as that would be). Flowers also provide an excellent
backdrop for photographs.
The
Photographer/Videographer
A professional photographer
or videographer is very important for s/he will document the entire event
which you will look back on for years to come. The best way to select
a photographer is by looking at their portfolio to get an idea of the
photographer's style. Discuss the minimum number of proofs, how long s/he
will be there and the cost for overtime, any other fees that might be
included and the payment schedule. Finding a videographer is very similar
to finding a photographer.
When selecting a videographer,
be sure to ask to see a demo tape and the equipment they have and discuss
the video format that will be used and what happens if equipment fails.
You'll have to find a photographer/videographer who's comfortable with
shooting your event, such as the photographers/videographers found in
the resource section of this book.
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Location
As far as location, don't hesitate to call anywhere that sparks your interest.
There are many beautiful locations
listed in our resource section including properties with gardens, waterfalls
and spectacular mountain vistas. Make sure you go over the fees for using
the location, when it is available, how many people the location can hold,
if there is a reception facility available, any rules that may change
your ceremony and any other extras you may want included in your ceremony.
Even though a place has never done a same-sex union ceremony before, it
doesn't mean you can't change that!
 Writing
the Invitation
Your invitation
will give out not just the vitals, but what kind of ceremony to expect.
You can go either traditional or alternative, but be sure you're getting
a clear message across to your guests. One thing we recommend including
in your invitation is a response card. This makes replying to the invitation
easier on the guest and is a great way of keeping track of who's coming.
Map cards are also beneficial to the guest as well as yourself (your cell
phone ringing constantly during the ceremony because Uncle Bart is lost
will definitely get on your nerves!).
Choosing
a DJ or Band
For reception music you have two choices: hire a band
or a DJ. If you choose
a band, they should be professional, take requests cheerfully and be able
to make the best out of any situation. Listen to a demo tape or videotape.
However if dancing to original artists is what you prefer, hire a DJ.
A DJ also costs less money, too. It is also a good idea to check out the
DJ's library. Whether you hire a band or a DJ, be sure to let them check
out the location ahead of time to see if there could be any potential
problems and don't forget to ask if they carry backup equipment in case
something goes wrong. Go over the lineup with the band or DJ you've hired
to make sure everything runs smoothly and to make sure you get what you
want, 'cause it's your day!
 What
to Wear on Your Day
A same-sex union ceremony is a great opportunity to break away from the
traditional wedding apparel. Some people prefer to wear traditional clothing
where as others prefer to dress in wedding attire meant for the opposite
gender. You can even have a theme, such as Elizabethan garb- the choice
is yours!
Choosing
a Caterer
Caterers are experts
at not only serving food, but knowing what's suitable for the occasion,
where the best location for an event is, structuring the day, and providing
you with information for other services you may need. Checking the caterer's
references will help narrow down your list. Sampling food will help you
make the right selection as well. It is recommended to meet with the chef
and discuss the feast as well as request a dinner sampling for you and
your partner. As scrumptious as a meal at the Ritz Carlton may taste,
keep your wallet in mind by figuring out your food budget. This can be
done by figuring out how much you will spend on one guest and multiplying
that by the number of guests you've invited. Then, add in about 10% for
overage, 17-20% for gratuity and your local taxes. Discuss with the caterer
what is included in the service: dinnerware, centerpieces, etc. and what
will cost extra (setup and cleanup are very good things to ask about!)
Be sure to discuss with the caterer how much the deposit will be, when
it's due, when the balance is due and the deadline for choosing a menu.
Don't forget to ask about your caterer's cancellation or postponement
policies! To avoid hassle, get all estimates in writing and form a clear
contract with the caterer. Be sure every detail is listed in the contract,
from the cost to room decorations that will be used. This will prevent
any problems that could occur. Keep in mind the job of a caterer is to
cater to YOU. Accept nothing less than this and your special day should
be as beautiful as you envisioned.
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